Bullying and How to Conquer It

I think I’ve deleted and re-written this post about four times now, as I’ve really been umming and ahhing as to whether to talk about serious issues on my blog; but I really wanted to make this space a little bit more personal to me and my experiences, so here goes!

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When the word ‘bullying’ floats into a conversation, it’s easy to dismiss it as something which happens at school; something you experience as a young child or a teen. But since I started my career four years ago, I’ve realised bullying in the workplace is prevalent, and the psychological effects can be devastating. At first it might not be obvious, or you may feel as if it can’t be labelled ‘bullying’, but trust me, if it feels like you’re being victimised, nine times out of ten, you most definitely are.

I’ve done a lot of reading into how scarily common these issues are, with a large percentage of people feeling as if they can’t label the unfair behaviour they’ve received as being bullied- there’s a real personal shame there that’s all too real for me. In every place I’ve worked, I’ve experienced one form of bullying and at some point in all of our careers, we will. From arguments and rudeness to unacceptable criticisms and unfair overloading of work; being targeted isn’t healthy for you or your career.

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Jacket: Pretty Little Thing
Top: Zara
Fishnets: La Moda (similar)

For me in one of my jobs, the unceasing pressure and workload became so stressful and the constant criticism unbearable. I felt unable to turn to anyone and instead became ill with long periods at home and bouts of feeling low, with anxiety taking over. Feeling like you aren’t good enough to be in a position, and feeling like others think you don’t deserve that position was all too real for me and resulted in me breaking down in tears at work and handing in my notice.

In some ways, you can learn and grow stronger from bullying- I grew a thicker, kind of FU skin after my experiences and in more recent workplaces have learnt to ignore those who wish me nothing but negativity. Being ignored is categorically the most common form of bullying in the UK and US, and has happened to me countless times- exclusion from anything whether work related or socially can leave you feeling like you aren’t good enough.

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Skirt: New Look
Bag: Zara (similar)
Boots: Pretty Little Thing (similar)

What You Can Do
Bullying is unacceptable in all forms, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a serious issue and there are a number of things you can do to help yourself (and your sanity!).

  • A problem shared… – find yourself an ally at work, or talk to your manager about the issue.
  • Talk to the bully- perhaps what they have been doing or saying has been inadvertent- you won’t know unless you ask. Tackling them head on may also catch them off guard and maybe make them think twice about you, especially if you’re calm and polite.
  • Make a formal complaint- Failing all the above and the severity of the situation, it might be a good idea to make a formal complaint- look at your employer’s grievance procedure for this.
  • Chat to me!  I’m a great listener and I’m always here for the beautiful blogging community!

 

Be Strong
I chose this fab Pretty Little Thing Outfit with this piece for a reason. It’s all about saying Au Revoir Felecia to anyone who thinks they can treat you like crap. You deserve to be in a 9-5 environment that’s comfortable, not filled with prejudice, stress or unhappiness. Criticisms or snide remarks are NOT a reflection on you, it’s their insecurities. If I had a dollar for every time someone laughed at my outfit, I’d be a hella rich woman, but do I care what they think? nah. In the words of Erika Jayne, How many fucks do I give? NONE.

Have you had problems with bullying in the workplace before? Let me know your experiences below x

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8 Comments

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 1, 2017 / 9:38 pm

      Thank you m’love 🙂 You can always talk to me xx

  1. March 3, 2017 / 11:12 pm

    I love this! I love when bloggers post more than just clothes and incorporate and promote positivity and a safe place to talk. I think it’s interesting that you mentioned ignoring being the most common form, because while I’m lucky to have never been bullied in a “traditional” sense, I’ve definitely felt ignored at points in my life. Also loved the Erika Jayne reference b/c I’m literally watching season 6 of RHOBH right now lol. Sorry this was a ton of word vomit I just love your content!! <3 <3 <3

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 4, 2017 / 8:28 am

      Awe thank you so much for commenting! Yes ignoring and exclusion I’ve had quite a bit, even from managers which is unbelievable! I love talking about personal experience, I’ve only just begun though as I wasn’t sure whether anyone wanted to read 🙂 Also I’m OBSESSED WITH RHOBH!!!! Vanderpump is ma girl cos she likes animals and tea, but Erika is a close second, she’s kween! xxx

  2. Tara
    March 13, 2017 / 1:31 pm

    Such a great post, thank you for sharing!

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 14, 2017 / 11:33 am

      Thanks for reading lovely 🙂 x

  3. March 14, 2017 / 11:06 am

    Another important thing to bear in mind is that you can join a trade union, who will offer you support or legal advice and representation in cases like these. If you are having a hard time in a workplace, being in a union can be crucial.

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 14, 2017 / 11:33 am

      Definitely, super important 🙂 Thanks for reading Rachel!

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