No Blogger Friends, No Problem?

As I sifted through some old blog posts looking for a couple of archive pieces to re-post on Twitter, I stumbled upon one of mine called ‘Blogger Friends vs Friends IRL’. I found myself reading it and even though it was only written a mere 5 months ago, I couldn’t disagree with what I was saying more.

blogger friends 5Hat: H&M (similar)
Top: Zara (similar)

The last 5 or 6 months in the blogging world has really been a changing environment for me. Coupled with my decision to leave full time work, my life’s been one unpredictable rollercoaster! Perhaps it’s the recent experiences I’ve had, or perhaps it’s the big transitions, but my former thoughts on blogging friendships kind of don’t stand anymore.

blogger friends 7Jeans: New Look (similar)

I feel a massive amount of support on social media, I really do. I feel like if I was really low, I could tweet and a number of beautiful people would have the BEST advice for me. But this year I’ve also seen another side of blogging that I didn’t want to see.

blogger friends 2Shoes: Iron Fist (similar)

It’s a bit like blind dating really isn’t it? Talking to someone in person isn’t the same as talking to them online. You can almost embody another person, be someone else and act completely differently. When you meet there’s a definite intensity, a yearning to be best of friends and live up to that sterotype we see everywhere on social media.

I can’t help but think there’s a pressure to be friends with other bloggers. To be besties that brunch, to take selfies and tell everyone you’re having “the best time”. The genuine, real friendships I’ve developed through blogging have been with the people who’ve literally talked minimally about blogging, and more about what they’re doing with the other parts of their lives. We’ve nattered about dating, pets, houses, and the best places to grab a bite to eat.

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Basically what I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to be friends with everyone. You don’t have to be extra nice to one person because they have 15k followers and a selfie with them would be beneficial, I mean, WTF? Just because we’re all bloggers, doesn’t mean we get along, or have much in common, and that’s okay.

I remember meeting someone at a work party which had invited bloggers, and spotted someone I’d been following for AGES. I was so excited to meet them and was desperate to like them IRL, but in reality I was left a little disappointed. It also left me questioning why I’d pinned so much on one person, who is in fact, just a person, despite their following online.

blogger friends 4Glasses: Primark

A lot of people heavily rely on the virtual aspect of blogging as it can be difficult for others to go to events and other social elements of blogging due to anxiety. That’s okay too- going to events doesn’t legitimise you as a blogger and I really hope others don’t think this. I know SO many amazing bloggers who also live in areas where these events just aren’t accessible. Going.to.events.with.blogging.friends.doesn’t.validate.you.

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It’s kind of easy to get hung up on those ideas that you must know specific people to get to a good place but the truth is that it’s all on you. I’d honestly rather just ride the blogging wave solo and feel good about myself, rather than be picked up and dropped, or be someone’s flavour of the month just because they have a name for themselves in our community.

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Do you, and if you meet some fab people on the way, then amazing, if not, that’s totally okay. Don’t let yourself and your content be defined by ‘blogger friends’ or social aspects of the community.

Do you agree? or maybe disagree? Let me know your thoughts!

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20 Comments

  1. August 17, 2017 / 4:10 pm

    Loved this! I totally agree, I would much rather talk to others about their pets, or hobbies and actually create a genuine interaction! I also feel like, if I tweeted something negative/sad, I would get a lovely response from some lovely people (including yourself!). You definitely don’t need lots of friends to feel validated, but what friends I do make, I want to be genuine 🙂

    Also, you look stunning!

    Jessica xx

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 17, 2017 / 6:44 pm

      Thanks for reading Jessica 🙂 Definitely, I’m all about those genuine connections with people! Twitter is amazing, I feel so lucky to have such wonderful, supportive people on there, including you! And thank you! x

  2. August 17, 2017 / 6:16 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree with every word as you very well know! There’s too many fake friendships in the blogging community and such a shame that so many people forget to be people and treat one another with respect like they should. I’m very wary of blogging friendships now but at the same time I’m so glad to have met some really sweet real life friends such as yourself. Xx

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 17, 2017 / 7:11 pm

      hehe I knew you would gal! You’re probs the person I find it easiest to talk to, and I can’t wait to meet up! Yes a lot of fake friendships, a lot of people only out for themselves but its the same in other circumstances too! M x

  3. August 18, 2017 / 2:54 pm

    I completely agree with you Maria – you definitely don’t have to be friends with everyone and you should only try and form honest and genuine friendships with other bloggers instead of trying to force them! xx

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 18, 2017 / 4:18 pm

      Exactly- couldn’t agree more Chloe! Thanks for reading 😀

  4. August 19, 2017 / 10:03 am

    I used to blog a lot, (my first blog was around age 13 – I’m now 28) – and I’ve had a few on and off since then in various niches) and it’s kinda funny to me how much things have changed. With the increased amount of bloggers, there’s definitely also an increased amount of bitchiness and eagerness to fit into the ‘in crowd’, particularly in the fashion/beauty/lifestyle niche although I’m sure it’s in others as well. It’s also kinda funny seeing both sides of it… My blog at the moment isn’t a part of that scene at all, but I have blogged in that world in the past just not in years, and I still follow a lot of bloggers within those areas and talk to some. I’ve also had quite a lot of people who have quite obviously had a kinda bitchy attitude that I don’t have enough followers to talk to, but then unknowingly follow my shop and act nice as pie not realising that I run it because they want free things or contacted my photography page when it was more active) because they wanted a free photo shoot. It’s interesting seeing the two sides of some people!

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 21, 2017 / 3:05 pm

      Wow, you really have experienced the not so nice bits! I feel you and I’ve definitely seen both sides. I’m reluctant to give up with it, even though sometimes I’d rather just be a little hermit, but I’m convinced there are some nice people out there, I’m just not looking in the right places hehe! Thanks so much for reading Zinzi 🙂 x

  5. August 21, 2017 / 6:22 pm

    I loved this post. I sometimes feel like I need blogger friends as everyone seems to have their own circles and I sometimes feel like a lone ranger!

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 23, 2017 / 9:23 am

      Honestly Han, from what I’ve seen, a lot of it is for aesthetic. I’ve given up bringing plus ones to events and stuff and go by myself- I even see people I follow/know there and they just ignore me it’s all very strange- just do you! I’m so excited to meet you saying that though hehe! x

  6. August 25, 2017 / 12:07 pm

    I agree with this, I don’t really have ‘blogger friends’ and don’t make the effort too. If I meet people at events that I like I’ll follow them because I think they’re cool and see a potential friend, not to use them as a benefit. Friends should form naturally, if people want squad goals on their blog and Instagram they should do it with the friends they already have – it will look way more genuine and give the exact effect you want because you’re not faking it. Great post! I love the hat you’re wearing!

    Yasmin x
    The Sweet Seven Five

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 25, 2017 / 12:08 pm

      Thanks so much for reading Yasmin and yes I totally agree! Like I said I’d much rather just roll solo hehe! Thanks so much, it’s just a find on ebay- if you have a search on there I’m sure you’ll find one 🙂 x

  7. August 25, 2017 / 9:04 pm

    Every single word in this post is beyond accurate! Seeing a lot of the blogger ‘cliques’ has made me envious and want blogger friends, but then also not at the same time.. x

    • lifewithmariaeva
      August 28, 2017 / 7:36 pm

      I totally feel you on that one Charlie- it’s definitely a toughie x

  8. September 7, 2017 / 1:43 pm

    First of all; loving the photography! But also I agree so much with you on the subject. Even though I feel like it would great to have a few blogger friends IRL, I also know it’s not necessary. Making friends should be a natural thing, not something that should be forced just because you’re both bloggers and could use each others “help”. Loving this post! xo Larice

    • lifewithmariaeva
      September 9, 2017 / 8:14 am

      Thanks so much for reading Larice! Definitely, I feel like there’s a big pressure as a lot of blogger’s are seeing it from bigger bloggers and might think it’s a reality when it just isnt… x

  9. September 8, 2017 / 2:21 pm

    Totally agree with this!! I have defo had times where I feel I need to be apart of a group but friendships need to grow organically and defo not be forced! Also love your outfit! X

    • lifewithmariaeva
      September 9, 2017 / 8:13 am

      Can defos agree with this! And thank you so much gal! 🙂 x

  10. September 20, 2017 / 9:48 pm

    I totally agree! Especially what you say about events. I used to go to every event I was being invited to because I thought I wouldn’t be a good blogger, wouldn’t be part of ‘it’ if I didn’t (and probably also FOMO). Nowadays I hardly go to any events and I’m fine with that. Events give me massive anxiety anyways. I also used to be ‘friends’ with a couple of bloggers, but I’ve kind of let that go as well. I just realised that it wasn’t real friendship. It’s amazing if you can find real friendship with a fellow blogger, but I guess that’s just not always the case. Which again, is fine.

    • lifewithmariaeva
      September 21, 2017 / 6:49 pm

      Definitely, couldn’t agree more, i’m just so sick of the drama and fakeness tbh!

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