As I’m sitting jotting this little post down, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and honestly, I don’t know what to think. I’m having a large dilemma about what to do in my current situation. I’m too big to fit into 90% of my old clothing, so perhaps a trip to the shops is in order? A short glance at my bank balance sees me quickly dismiss that idea.
I’m not talking a small and steady weight gain here- I’m talking almost 10kg within a month and a half- that’s A LOT for me. What I eat in the day is dictated by how I feel (anyone else in the same boat?) so unfortunately if I’m not 100%, I’m always likely to give in to that Krispy Kreme over a lean salad. I know, I know, it’s all relative right. Eating healthy and exercising makes you feel better anyway- a lot better than that last doughnut but it’s getting the motivation and energy that I have issues with.
Although I’ve made lots of big changes in my life to make myself feel better and fully taken stock of the fact that my weight isn’t too much of a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I do feel like it effects your confidence in general. My favourite pair of jeans have had to go into temporary retirement. High waisted trousers get stuck before they reach my derriere and my god, the sleeves of my t-shirts are feeling tight.
The most disappointing thing? The fact that I can’t still be proud of myself. In this modern age, and also in the blogosphere there’s so many inspiring curvy women showing us we should be embracing our bodies and I almost feel bad that I am hating mine right now, you know?
There’s a ‘girl boss’ pressure to have your life in order. All your blog posts scheduled, your job tasks done, your body preened and be a hustler on the side? give me a breaaaak plz. I can literally feel one of my hands climbing like a spider into the biscuit barrel just thinking about it. My life’s all a bit up in the air at the moment, and no one day is the same, but why must we seeminly be all things to all people? I honestly don’t know how some people are able to do a full day in the office then socialise after work several days a week. I love sleep toooo much- I mean, I’m here sitting at my laptop writing, but my bun in at least three days old, and my pyjama top is definitely underneath my sweater- it’s the lazy way of getting dressed and trying to look like a fully-functioning adult.
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I don’t want to make this blog post all doom and gloom though, that’s not my style! The point is that we don’t have to feel perfect. Just because ‘girl boss’ culture exists, doesn’t mean we have to embrace it in all it’s forms. It’s totally okay for a cheat day to turn into a week. It’s okay to fall behind on your blog- your followers will still love you! It’s okay to have those down days, or not feel yourself- I was so cautious about taking to Twitter when I felt down but I don’t regret doing it for one second- everyone has been unbelievably supportive and the feeling is amazing!
To end this blog post on an even sweeter note, I took some pictures with the lovely Laura in an outfit I’m kinda feeling myself in. Gingham is everywhere RN so why not, ya know?
Let me know some of your best tips on how you get yourself feeling good and how you interpret the girl boss culture!
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