On Body Confidence

When it comes to issues with the body, there’s those good days and those bad days; you know? Body confidence and weight is something I’ve never really talked about on here, and that’s mainly because I always shy away from discussing my body and whether I’m happy with it- one day I’m like *BAM* holy shit I look good, and other days I feel bloated and ballooning.

I was one of those kids who at 10 or 11ish, was the tallest and skinniest in class. That darn puberty then hit, and I stayed pretty much a similar height, save for my hips, and those thighs popping out to say hello. So I find myself, at the age of 26, as tall as I was when I was 13, but a lot more huggable; if you catch my drift.

maria weight 1Blazer: H&M (similar)
Bandeau: H&M (similar)
Shirt: H&M (similar)

It’s a constant battle basically, between my love for crisps (and a good burger- don’t forget the chips) and looking slimmer.  My love affair for food hasn’t only increased during my 20s, but I’ve also been using it as an emotional tool- I eat when I’m happy, I eat even more when I’m sad and recently it got so out of hand. All of my weight goes on two particular areas, my butt and my thighs, which leaves my top half looking slim- a really strange look…Y  U DO THIS TO ME BODY?!

Diets are so hard (as you guys will know I’m sure) a lot of them are ineffective, or cause you to put on way more than you lost in the first place. It’s not only about how you look physically, but how you feel inside- I went on the Atkins diet last year for four months; and I’ve got to admit, it worked so well. Yet even though family were telling me they saw a difference, I didn’t feel I was getting the results as fast as I wanted them and friends who were into fitness didn’t seem to notice my change at all- diets are a weird, psychological thing, they can really leave you feeling sensitive.

maria weight 2Jeans: River Island
Fish nets: New Look
Mules: New Look

I think even though you have those shitty days, you’ve got to look at yourself and think, “As long as I love me, who cares?” It’s hard though. Self-confidence is built, and only by you. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, no matter what they look like, and no-one has to right to tell you otherwise.

I’ve decided to grab life by the nongas, and say to myself, why do I want to eat that much? There must be something else going on there. After being the heaviest I’ve ever been in February, I’ve decided to return to the Atkins, as I did some research and their new and improved recipes are a lot more realistic for me- protein focused, with lots of cheese- YAS! I just can’t afford to maintain this weight if nothing actually fits me! I’ve also joined the local sports centre so I can gym and swim at my leisure- all the burgers without the guilt, cos I’m going to *try* and burn them off… Also is it me, or is the fitness world a bit noninclusive? I feel like when you’re new, the regular fitness types kinda look down on you for trying; as if you’re getting in their way. It’s like, you have to be obsessed with it, or not go at all. It confuses me!

In the words of Mumma Ru, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

Can I get an Amen up in here?

 

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maria weight 3

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12 Comments

  1. March 18, 2017 / 11:03 am

    Awww you go girl, you look beautiful! I have a tricky relationship with food too as sometimes it’s only thing that helps me when I’m ill (I have ME/CFS) or am grappling with awful free floating anxiety >< I am the opposite haha, any weight I put on goes to my waist (since having my lil boy haha) or my arms/top half! I have lost about half a stone baby weight since Christmas and am not overweight, but still got just under a stone to lose til my pre baby weight 😀 I am scared to go to the gym in fear of being judged and not be seen like I'm taking it seriously if I get tired very easily xD xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara (P.S we should absolutely follow each other on bloglovin or instagram haha 😀 xx)

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 18, 2017 / 12:28 pm

      Hey lady!
      Awe thank you so much for reading 🙂 Yeah I feel you- it’s all about how you feel about yourself as oppose to how much you actually put on- you are amazing girl and of course, I’m off to follow you! xx

  2. March 19, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    I love this blog so much! Confidence is key. I feel you on the food battle…so much so ive tried to cut food out of my life completely but that didnt last long..you’re absolutely beautiful though <3

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 20, 2017 / 1:17 pm

      Hehe thanks Cam! x

  3. March 19, 2017 / 8:33 pm

    Body confidence is so important, this post was so necessary! You’re really pretty btw X

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 20, 2017 / 1:17 pm

      Hey Charlie thanks so much for commenting! Body confidence is- I wish it wasn’t something that just comes and goes but hey ho! x

  4. March 19, 2017 / 9:23 pm

    you look beautiful as you are now! I get how you’re feeling a bit though, i’m at the heaviest weight i’ve ever been at the moment, which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that big, but you always want to get back to the previous smaller body that you had. We just need to learn to love ourselves a little bit more, be happy with who we are!xx

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 20, 2017 / 1:18 pm

      Bryony you babe! Thanks so much for reading, totally agree! 🙂 xx

  5. March 20, 2017 / 5:38 pm

    Yes to this! Body confidence is key, and in my opinion a working progress!
    I love how honest this is.
    Also, slaying life in those close up pics. You look fabulous!

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 23, 2017 / 3:57 pm

      Thanks so much Danielle 🙂 Totally agree its key! x

  6. March 24, 2017 / 12:29 am

    Such a beaut blog post. It’s all about self love. Plus your a total babe! You should never feel down on your size, but I suppose we all do at times! Over from littleowlblogs.wordpress.com xoxo

    • lifewithmariaeva
      March 26, 2017 / 6:58 pm

      Awe thank you so much Emma! I know what you mean, it’s just those inevitable thoughts, you know? x

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